


Forgotten Soul

by AerisLei



Category: RWBY
Genre: Gen, Stream of Consciousness, this is really just ozpin thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21752188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AerisLei/pseuds/AerisLei
Summary: Ozpin stream of consciousness following his retreat after everyone finds out about Salem and what he was hiding from them.
Kudos: 31





	Forgotten Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, I was talking about ozpin with someone today and I realized I had many feelings. This materialized very quickly. It's not terribly polished and it's not meant to be, but I did have fun writing it.

He’d done the best he could. He’d tried. He’d tried so hard. He’d fought for so long. Ozpin was tired. _He’d made more mistakes than any man woman or child on the planet_ \- he’d said that once, to Ruby, and he’d meant it. Brothers, he’d meant it. It wasn’t really his fault, it came with the territory of being _human_ and also _reborn_ over and over again to complete a task which was endless, impossible.

Ozpin had been set a task that was impossible, and it wasn’t fair. Life wasn’t fair, the Brothers weren’t fair.

He’d been betrayed by those closest to him so many times. Salem had wanted him back so badly she’d betrayed even the Gods, and he bore her punishment perhaps more harshly than she did. 

It wasn’t fair. 

Leo had betrayed him, he hadn’t been the first, probably he wouldn’t be the last. 

_Ozpin_ _was tired, he wanted Leo to be the last. He didn’t want to do this anymore. He was so tired. He just wanted to rest._

The look of betrayal in Qrow’s eyes stung, cutting into his soul as he pulled himself down down down into the darkness of the mind he shared with Oscar. The sting of _Qrow_ of all people striking out at him tore deep, deeper than the man anticipated, and he pulled himself down deeper, further.

He could only just sense his link with Oscar. He couldn’t break it. Nothing could break it. 

_No one wanted me... I was cursed... I gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world... I thought I was finally doing some good…Meeting you... was the worst luck of my life._

Branwen’s words echoed in his mind. They hurt the most. Yang’s anger was one thing, she was a child. She didn’t _know_ him. She didn’t _understand_. But Qrow… Qrow had worked beside him for years. That man would have walked through fire for him - and probably _had_ a few times. He’d _trusted_ Qrow. 

But he hadn’t had he? That was, of course, the problem. He hadn’t trusted them - but he had. He’d trusted them with everything he _could_. Didn’t they understand some wounds ran too deep? That some information just wasn’t necessary to share? These were his memories, his scars. 

Even this long later, they ran too deep. And he kept fighting anyway because he had to because if he didn’t then she won and humanity would suffer. Humanity, which would cast him away and hate him if they knew the truth. Hadn’t this just proven that reality?

They hated him. He was only doing what was best. Ozpin was always just trying to do what he thought was best.

It was never good enough.

He was never good enough. Not for Salem, not for the Brothers. And not, it seemed, for them.

Ozpin couldn’t face them. Couldn’t face their rage, their accusations. Their _expressions_ as they processed his gravest fears and the horrors of his reality. 

Maybe that made him a coward. 

Ozpin thought maybe he was okay with that, if it meant he didn’t have to face their anger anymore. If it meant maybe he wouldn’t be betrayed again - he couldn’t be betrayed if he was trapped here inside of his own mind, after all. Oscar wouldn’t be _just another life_ if he was left to figure it out on his own.

After all, weren’t they all just figuring it out on their own?

The sting of fire and blood and hate danced over his consciousness and through his memories. He wasn’t good enough, he could never be good enough. 

How was it that after all this time, Ozpin was still surprised when someone turned on him? How was it after all this time that Ozpin still wanted to protect humanity? Maybe she was right, in the end. Maybe the task he’d been set was _impossible_ for more reasons than just the fact that he couldn’t destroy her. 

Ozpin’s flaw seemed to be that he wanted to believe the best in people, despite being shown many times that the best in humanity was _incredibly_ fragile, and all too easily turned against him.

This? This was his curse. He’d have to face it eventually, but for now, for now he’d remain in the deep-quiet-darkness and tend to his own wounds.


End file.
